Breaking Free

Do you ever have periods of time where you just feel like all your thoughts are muddled together and you try so hard to be happy but it just doesn’t happen?

I don’t want to be melodramatic but that happens to me sometimes. The past couple weeks have been a journey through that for me. I’ve felt sad and lonely, but I’ve also felt deep joy and peace and I’ve even laughed till… well you know what happens when you laugh really hard. When you live in a place that is foreign to you it’s easy to think that if you were at home things would be easier. That is a lie. Life isn’t better or worse at home than it is here. It’s simply different.

You can’t compare midnight skinny dips to a restaurant full of friends. You can’t compare post-supper dance parties to slowly falling for somebody. You can’t compare waking up at seven every day to the sound of birds to sipping lattes in coffee shops. You can’t compare the adrenaline of finding a snake in your house to the simplicity of a house that is always free of critters. You can’t compare the joy of learning to eat piles and piles of beans to the enjoyment of eating different foods every single day. You can’t compare the suspense of not knowing what’s going to happen in the day to the simplicity of having your day, week, and month scheduled out ahead of time.

These are honestly the things that I have tried to compare, but these are two different worlds. I am learning how to sit in one world without longing to be present in a different world. I have to learn to be content in every circumstance. I have to learn to enjoy and appreciate creation and people here just as much as I enjoy and appreciate creation and people in Canada.

Life has its ups and downs. I’m slowly learning to embrace what I’m experiencing here. Sometimes that means admitting that I am a missing out on certain things at home. The things is, if I had never left I couldn’t possibly comprehend what I’m missing out on here. That means I wouldn’t miss it but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be missing out. So here’s to four more months of learning and living and just being here. Get out of your comfort zones peeps. It's 100% worthwhile!!