Growing Up (Part 1)

While I was a student I remember hearing rumors that those people who make it through to graduation eventually miss writing papers and want to come back. I honestly didn't think I would ever fit into that category... but now I sit at a desk four days a week and I dream about the freedom I had as a student. I even sometimes consider going to grad school *gasp* because more school sounds better than continuing with the route I'm on now.

To be honest, I'm embarrassed.

I remember hearing about jobs when I was a student and thinking, maybe that will be me one day. As an international studies major my fellow students were all extremely passionate people. So passionate, in fact, that for four years I essentially skimmed off their extra passion and managed to convince myself that I was also passionate about building wells in #Africa, making positive changes in public policy, and staying up to date with world news.

Then I graduated. I left school. I left those acquaintances and many of those friends behind. And I lost my passion.

Well. More accurately, I lost their passion.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like people are attracted to passion in other people. We all want to be a part of something important and passionate people give us the opportunity to engage with things that matter. I'm looking for friends who are passionate but I'm not the only one looking for passion... people are looking for passionate employees... so how do I gain the passion they're looking for?

My identity used to be student and then suddenly it was graduate and then it was passionless office administrator and almost seven months later I'm finally realizing that, in a way, I get to choose my own identity... my own passions.

I have been formed by my past experiences, but my family and by my friends, my travels and my education and now I'm in the position to choose what will form my identity.

I suddenly have free time and I get to choose what to do with that time... my identity does not have to be passionless bookkeeper because my identity is formed by so much more than the desk I sit in for eight hours a day four days a week. It's formed by the choices I make twenty four hours a day, by whether I choose to look for other jobs, engage in new friendships, spend time with my roommates, study Spanish, or read the news.

Throughout our lives our identities change... it's time to embrace that fact and make the most of different seasons we find ourselves in right now. The choices we make now will dictate the next seasons of our identities. We can't choose what we will be passionate about but we can create a lifestyle that pushes us towards passion and into the relationships that used to give us passion.

I now know that I am passionate about friendships and passionate about loving people. Therefore my passions will change as I learn what other people are looking for and what other people need and that is okay, in fact, that is good.