Living in the Time Zone

I think we all deeply yearn for connection.

We want to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. The problem is, we also want the freedom of having absolutely nobody telling us what to do with our lives. We don’t want to be on anybody else’s timetable. We don’t want anybody else to use what we’ve carefully rationed away for ourselves. We don’t want to share because we see sharing as giving something of ourselves away.

The thing is, when we are able to share we actually gain more than we lose.

Today our manager told us how his supervisor described muzungu time in comparison to African time. Muzungus, he said, run their lives according to time and Africans, in contrast, run their lives according to relationships. He continued to say that both are beneficial, and we should learn from each other.

The thing is, when you put like it’s relationships versus time, I think most of like to think that we do put relationships first. We, or at least I, get slightly offended. I think I get offended because it’s true. In some ways North American’s value relationships by valuing time. When we are on time to a meeting we show that we value the people who are at the meeting and when we’re on time to a date, we show that we value our date. However, I also think that we’re not all that good at valuing relationships. If I value people so much why do I have such a hard time with sharing? Why do I have a difficult time adjusting to Ugandan time?

I want to learn to value relationships more. The deep connection we all yearn for isn’t going to be filled if we keep walking down the path we’re headed down. I’m talking about at home in North America but also about my time here.

It’s been really hard to connect with people and to make friends and I think, partly, it’s due to the fact that I do often view time, my own comfort, and my own ideas as more important than relationships. Thankfully I’ve got five more months to work on this, to learn more about putting relationships first and to learn more about befriending Ugandans.… though skipping the friendship stage and jumping straight into marriage is apparently a fairly viable option ;).