Things I Love

Hiking and writing.

Hiking. Because when I’m on top of a mountain nothing else matters. The wind whistles through my hair and even if I’m all alone I’m in a place where it’s okay to be alone. There aren’t supposed to be other people on top of mountains. The tops of mountains are the places where not even the sturdiest of trees can survive. It's okay to be lonely up there and it's okay to not be perfect. It’s okay that I’m not who I wanted to be by now because I’m not even supposed to be there at all. There is nothing dignified about coughing your lungs up because you desperately need oxygen or sweating through your shirt. Some people say they like the climbing. I only go through that agony because I know that mountaintop high is coming. I know that there is something special in being someplace you’ve put effort into being. Maybe that is what I’m supposed to be learning from the rest of my life too. The friends you fight for are the ones you love the most. The job that requires the most effort is the most satisfying. Struggles make you stronger. Only when I’m hiking does the struggle lead so quickly to the satisfaction.

Writing. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because it’s the only thing I know how to do when my world, the whole world, is falling apart around me. (It’s what I know how to do when I spend my day at a preschool filled with kids who could definitely use a few more vitamins, when I witness fatal car accidents, when I’ve said goodbye for the last time to somebody I love, when I’m not going back, when I realize that global warming is literally killing people, that famine is no joke, that I am selfish and think the world revolves around me). I know how to sit down, open my laptop and let out a stream of consciousness. Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesn’t but I know that in those moments of struggle, just as in moments of joy, my hands will make the thoughts flitting about into something concrete, something that can be sorted through and organized. Writing is the only way I know how to meet myself. When I’m writing I can begin to figure out who I am. I can see the common threads running throughout my thoughts. I can admit what is wrong. I can force myself to see what’s right. I can admit that the world is broken but I can also see where God is working.

I love hiking and I love writing because they make me love the world. They make me love the struggles, the successes, the failures, the belly laughs, the tears, the job applications, the job rejections, the daydreams. They make me love the mess of tangled chords that make up my life. Sometimes that mess is pretty damn hard to love so I think I just might keep on hiking and I just might keep on writing.

I wanted to post these photos but I didn't know where... so here's a little glimpse of the last mountain I climbed.

That in the background is Mt.Sabinyo, it took us 9 hours but we climbed all three peaks.

We didn't get many pics because of the rain but trust me, it was even more epic than this photo makes it look.

Does it look like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff? That's because I am. We spent about three hours climbing almost vertical ladders in the rain. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Johnson is in the DRC, I'm in Uganda and Rachel is in Rwanda. Not often a hike takes you to a country you've never visited before.

Within 30 minutes of finishing we had declared that we wanted to do it all over again. What a beaut of a place.